Saturday, September 18, 2010

Harby Knows Best - Issue 1

Have a question? Need some advice? Ask Harby! The Algonquin Harbinger has the answers to your problems.

Post a question, concern or ask for advice below!  Make sure you post as "Anonymous", however feel free to use a pen name.

Maybe you'll get lucky and your post will be responded to in the advice column in the next Issue of The Algonquin Harbinger.

52 comments:

  1. Is it wrong to ding dong ditch someones house at 10:30, 2;30, and 3:30 in one night?

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  2. If I receive emails from a mysterious Lord Voldemort should I really follow his instructions (ie, meet in the largest stall of the boys bathroom in G100)? I didn't actually do that but I did wait outside the bathroom. Do you think my life is in danger? Am I being targeted?

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  3. My mom started cocaine and now i am doing it should i stop or continue? ;)

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  4. Now that summer is coming to an end, cold weather is coming back to Algonquin. This means bundling up in multiple layers of clothing. However, I have a problem: all of those layers of warm clothing make me very sweaty - so sweaty that I often sweat through all of my layers. What should I do?

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  5. I'm a big Celtics fan but one of my best friends is a Lakers fan. The Lakers suck, and their fans too. Should I still be friends with them?

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  6. whatdoyouwantfromme?

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  7. Harby, why does it go on and on and on? Why do people throw their hands up in the air sometimes? Why do they want to celebrate and live their lives? Are they really gonna light it up like its dynamite? Did they actually tell me once, then twice?

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  8. I'm not sure how I feel about the Gosselins. The little kids are all really cute (especially Aaden and Joel) but Mady and Cara can be really annoying. It used to just be Mady but lately she's gotten better and Cara has just gotten worse and worse. Should I keep watching the tv show?

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  9. how do i go about getting biddies to blow me?

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  10. I really like Lady GaGa. Do you think we could have a day where we all dressed like her, the way they did on Glee? Except not just the Glee club members but the entire school. Is this at all plausible? If I demanded that everyone dressed this way, would my demands be met? I think this is a reasonable request.

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  11. what should i do if i want to get involved in the harbinger, but missed the first meeting?

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  12. Some of my classmates are really irritating. They ask so many questions in class and always interrupt the teacher. How can I deal with this Harby?

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  13. I really like strawberry yoplait yogurt, but by third lunch there isn't ever any left. What can I do? If I brought it from home it would be warm by then, and that is just disgusting.

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  14. supposed my best friend has a HIDEOUS facebook profile picture. is it wrong to leave a comment from someone else's account saying that she looks ugly and needs to take the picture down to spare the eyes of innocent facebook users? or should i just tell her in a wall-post?

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  15. Suppose my best friend writes on my wall that I should put up a new profile picture and posts a picture on my wall that I should use. Do you think she's trying to send me a message, or that she just really likes the new picture of me?

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  16. I really love all of my classes this year, and I hate to miss any class time, especially because I love all of my classes this year. At the same time though, I have to go to the bathroom A LOT. My doctor said that I have to drink 64 oz of water a day, so I end up going to the bathroom during school at least 4 times a day. My teachers are getting pretty annoyed with my constant bathrrom trips too. What do I do, Harby?!

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  17. i'm trapped in a poke war on facebook with someone i hardly know. i'd like it to end, but i don't want to appear like the weaker one by not poking back. what should i do?

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  18. someone keeps stealing my parking spot in the morning. i ALWAYS park in the same spot, and until now people have realized it's my territory and usually stayed away. i'm sure it's a dumb junior who doesn't know how important i am. is keying their car an appropriate response to this situation?

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  19. my neighbor always complains about getting up early for the bus, yet whenever i offer him a ride he turns me down. should i take this as a personal offense to my driving skills?

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  20. I have no friends but i pretty much hate everyone so i dont care. is this an issue?

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  21. Preoccupied and Under PressureSeptember 19, 2010 at 6:13 PM

    I'm taking three APs this year. When I signed up for classes last year I thought I'd be able to handle it. With all of my extracurriculars, my internship, my boyfriend, and taking care of my younger brother, I'm so overwhelmed. I've been going to bed between 2:30 and 3:30 every night. I don't want to drop any of my "extras" because I love everything I do. I don't want to drop my APs because I don't want to seem "weak".
    I can't go on like this, but I don't know what to do!

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  22. i'm upset by your assumption that you know best. what if sachem actually knows best? huh? answer me that, harby.

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  23. i wanna know. can you show me?

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  24. my older brother is 22, and he is literally that guy who lives in his parents' basement. coincidentally, that is also my basement. and i don't want him there. what should i do?

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  25. I can I can I can be a freak. Every day of every week. Am I really a freak if I just like the song by Estelle?

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  26. I like the song Empire State of Mind but New York isn't really my thing. Is that okay? It's just a really good song.

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  27. every time i touch that track it turns into silver, not gold. does that mean i'm not magic like B.O.B?

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  28. there's a set of identical twins that i've known my entire life. they're both great people, but i've never quite figured out how to tell them apart. this causes some problems when i talk to one of them and don't know what to call her. none of my other friends can tell them apart either, so i can't just ask them which is which. how can i figure out who's who without letting them know i've been pretending i knew for the past 17 years?

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  29. Harby, DJ got us fallin in love again. Do you love me too? I have really strong feelings for you so please dont break break my heart. Does it get your heart pumping too? Do you think it is a problem that I am in love with a high school newspaper? In some states it's not a problem- let me know if you wanna get together anytime soon.

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  30. There's a set of fraternal twins I've known half my life. they're okay people, and sometimes i can tell them apart, but not always. it's not normally a problem when we talk and my friends can tell them apart too. i think i'm all set, right?

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  31. Fearfully Friendly to FreshmenSeptember 19, 2010 at 6:35 PM

    there's a freshman who i knew back in elementary school, and we used to be pretty good friends even though i'm 3 years older. now he's at algonquin, and when i see him in the hallway i always say hi. he gives me a weird look each time, which makes me think he doesn't remember me. but we were REALLY good friends before so i can't just stop saying hi! what should i do, harby?

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  32. someone keeps taking my questions on here and mocking them. i don't know who it is since they're anonymous like me. but it makes me feel insecure. what should i do, harby?

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  33. Someone keeps writing questions right before I do and they're pretty much opposite of mine. They're anonymous and I'm me, so I don't know who it is. I mean I'm pretty confident in myself and I'm not afraid to ask questions. It's just freaky that someone else has the exact opposite thoughts as me. Should I try to contact them and see if we're long lost opposite twins Harby?

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  34. my best friend's mom calls me cynthia. that's not my name. i'm not sure if she realizes that and has given me a nickname, or if she seriously does not know my name after 10 years of friendship with her daughter. how can i politely hint that my name is not actually cynthia?

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  35. is 7 AP classes too many? or not enough? i've considered asking for an extended school day to take a few more...what do you think, harby?

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  36. HARBY, I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
    Let's move to Idaho and get married?

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  37. whoever wants to marry harby is stupid. why not pick a much better publication...like sachem. why are people so dumb?

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  38. I have eyes only for you Harby.
    Anon 6:46 go away, no one likes you here.

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  39. i think i have a serious medical condition that needs to be examined, but i have a reputation with my doctor as being a bit of a hypochondriac. she doesn't take anything i say seriously anymore since i come in to see her about once a month and there's rarely anything seriously wrong. how can i make sure she listens to me this time? if i die from this, it'll totally be her fault.

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  40. I'd like to be an advice columnist when I grow up. what advice can you offer me to help me reach my goal?

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  41. i bought the last cookie at 3rd lunch last week, right before my friend could take it. now she won't talk to me. HELP!

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  42. lady gaga absolutely terrifies me, but i'm afraid people will judge me since it's a kinda irrational fear. i'm seriously scared of her, like i have nightmares about her and everything. how can i fit in and not cringe in fear every time i hear alajendro on the radio?

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  43. My photography teacher is a fucking nut bar. How can I cope?

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  44. my best friend is my dog...what should i do about it?

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  45. Whoever just made fun of me and insinuated that I'm a hypochondriac is mean. This is actually a serious condition and it needs to be tested.

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  46. SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM SACHEM

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  47. I'm a musical instrument player. But whenever I practice intensively, I get lightheaded and get really bad headaches. I love my instrument but I don't know how much longer I can take this pain. It's been seven long years, and I'm about ready to give up

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  48. Dear Harby,

    I think one of your writers is a spy from Sachem. Please be careful. The Harbinger is a wonderful publication and I think Sachem is trying to steal your ideas. I urge you to take this warning seriously and open an investigation on all of your writers. Sachem is your enemy.

    Let me know if you need any help by responding to this comment in the newspaper - I have the number of a good PI.

    Love,
    a concerned reader

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  49. my history class is filled with douchebags. i want to make some valid points and actually discuss things. but i can't because everyone sucks. what should i do

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  50. i'm supposed to wear tie-dye for the class picture tomorrow, but i don't have any. what should i do, harby? it's kinda urgent!

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